Got the news I've been waiting for...

One day before the end of August (my deadline), I woke up to a wonderful email!  I am supposed to go to court on October 1 to start the process of getting guardianship of and bringing home my son.  So many details to work through and so much to think through to be ready to parent this boy.  All I can say is, WOW - he has gone from the cutest little boy in the whole world to soon becoming my son.  All the praise and all the glory go to God, who placed the desire in my heart and has been orchestrating it all in His time for His glory. 

This is a picture of our first day together. He was trying to rub the lightness off my skin to be able to see my darker skin color.

learning through waiting

I am learning so much about waiting. And yet, I realize there is still so much more to learn about this trustful waiting.

When I think about it, wait is a bit of an odd word, with varied meanings. We grow up thinking we know what it means and according to the dictionary it is defined as ‘remaining inactive while waiting for something to happen’. I must say that the temptation can be to impatiently wait, when things are out of one’s control, and when you’ve come up against so many brick walls when trying to take control. But, trustful waiting is so different from ‘remaining inactive’. It is choosing to believe that a loving Father hears my heart and is working out His plan amidst the silence.

In our culture, we value information and have a sense of ‘needing to know’ the details and happenings of that which concerns us. We want updates, even if the update is to say that there isn’t an answer yet. A sign of our need to know and have updates goes beyond the need to know about something affecting just ourselves, but also in the lives of those that we love – hence the need for blogs.  ;)

The need for information is indeed valued within our culture. But it is not as valued in all cultures. A piece of the culture of the developing nations that I've workd in is that they will let you know when there is something to tell. Silence doesn’t necessarily mean inactivity. Rather, silence means that the full answer is not yet available. As I, in my impatience, seek to gain information that will give me an idea of what lies ahead in the near future, I am often reminded that even though I don't have a status update, work is going on behind the scenes. What I'm learning is that the work that is in motion is all setting the stage to give us the best chance of success. Yet, I can't "know" that without being given the information. The assurance of knowing often helps me rest in the process. But, as a child of the King, I should trust that I have not been forgotten and in freedom, I should live in trust that it will all unfold according to His plan.

We know this, but I must say that I am learning it deeper through this waiting and sometimes silent experience.

It has been one year

One year ago this month, I started this adoption adventure.  Initally, I thought I would have an opportunity to complete the adoption, by the end of 2009.  Delays ensued.  As mid-February rolled along, the picture became clear that the delay would continue for a few months to indefinitely.  As time has gone on it has at times seemed like a phantom dream, because it seems like we are always in this state of limbo.  In June, I gave myself a deadline of the end of August - that if it didn't look like a court date was in the near future - that I would likely have to realize that this specific adoption wasn't meant to be.  Here we are on August 20th, and I have a glimmer of hope, but nothing solid to hold on to.  There are 11 more days in this month, and I pray that by the time that September 1 rolls around, that what I should do would be clear.

clothes, (check)

toys (check)

school supplies (check)

Just waiting for my son.

More photos while we wait.....

Not my will, but Thy will be done

Throughout these last two years I have found myself either feeling like this aoption HAS to happen or I have found myself apathetically wanting to give up.   However over the last few weeks while facing uncertainties in many regards on both the Ugandan side of things and on the US side of things, I found myself in a place where I didn't even know how to pray because the situation has gotten quite complex.  This place of not knowing how to pray actually led me to a place of honestly holding the adoption of my Ugandan son in an open palm.  If God opens the door, I will receive, love, nurture and parent him as my son.  If God closes the door entirely, I am okay with that, too.  I have come to a place in my heart where I don't have an agenda either way.  I will thankfully accept it however it turns out. 

I love this kid, and have to get him home soon

As I've been waiting and believing, I have come to a point where I am pleading to God that I can get a court appointment in July and come home with my son in the beginning of August.  This timing would be perfect, because we would be home 2-3 weeks before school starts.  This would give us time to get settled, and then to have him start school life which will provide good structure to his days and his entry into American life.