retiring the blog

We have now been home for six weeks.  :)   Nathan is adjusting well.  He loves school, has started Tae Kwan Do, learned to ride a bike in one day, experienced snow, been fully adopted here in the States, travelled to Canada and learned to rollerskate. 

It seems that the time has come to retire this blog.  I will start another one, soon.  When I create the new blog, I will post the new address here.

Thanks for your support and prayer during the adoption process.

Last evening

Last night, Nathan's foster sister, Lynn, stayed the night with us.  It was fun having her with us!

Visa approval

Today, we received the news we have been waiting for!  The embassy has approved our visa request.  We can pick it up Tuesday at 4 pm.  One step closer to being home with my son, Nathan.

This was taken the day we got the ruling from the judge.

First photo together - 2010

a couple snaps for now

6 days and counting

The reality is setting in that in a very short time, I will be boarding a plane on a journey that will forever change my life.   It's exciting with a bit of anxiety, and a lot of unknown. 

What will we first say to each other?
What will court be like?
How will we spend our days while in country?
Will he be afraid to fly?
What will be his reaction when we land in London?
How will he react to an escalator?
and, and, and.....

Soon, we will live through so many new experiences....  I do hope to chronicle them as we go through each day.

Growing Trust

Each year that I have been involved in co-directing Royal Family Kids' Camps, I have seen God meet our needs for staffing each and every year.  Even the year that we were short on nurses just 7 days prior to camp, I knew that we would have them by the time camp started.  As I am counting the days before leaving, there are many things that can cause me to fear.  Yet, I have seen God meet some specific needs through people who didn't know of the need, but just felt led by the Spirit.  I am so thankful for people choosing to follow the nudgings of the Holy Spirit.  It helps me stand convinced that just as God faithfully brings camp together in His way, He will indeed continue to orchestrate this adoption.  He will move hearts and through it all, His will will be accomplished.

Got the news I've been waiting for...

One day before the end of August (my deadline), I woke up to a wonderful email!  I am supposed to go to court on October 1 to start the process of getting guardianship of and bringing home my son.  So many details to work through and so much to think through to be ready to parent this boy.  All I can say is, WOW - he has gone from the cutest little boy in the whole world to soon becoming my son.  All the praise and all the glory go to God, who placed the desire in my heart and has been orchestrating it all in His time for His glory. 

This is a picture of our first day together. He was trying to rub the lightness off my skin to be able to see my darker skin color.

learning through waiting

I am learning so much about waiting. And yet, I realize there is still so much more to learn about this trustful waiting.

When I think about it, wait is a bit of an odd word, with varied meanings. We grow up thinking we know what it means and according to the dictionary it is defined as ‘remaining inactive while waiting for something to happen’. I must say that the temptation can be to impatiently wait, when things are out of one’s control, and when you’ve come up against so many brick walls when trying to take control. But, trustful waiting is so different from ‘remaining inactive’. It is choosing to believe that a loving Father hears my heart and is working out His plan amidst the silence.

In our culture, we value information and have a sense of ‘needing to know’ the details and happenings of that which concerns us. We want updates, even if the update is to say that there isn’t an answer yet. A sign of our need to know and have updates goes beyond the need to know about something affecting just ourselves, but also in the lives of those that we love – hence the need for blogs.  ;)

The need for information is indeed valued within our culture. But it is not as valued in all cultures. A piece of the culture of the developing nations that I've workd in is that they will let you know when there is something to tell. Silence doesn’t necessarily mean inactivity. Rather, silence means that the full answer is not yet available. As I, in my impatience, seek to gain information that will give me an idea of what lies ahead in the near future, I am often reminded that even though I don't have a status update, work is going on behind the scenes. What I'm learning is that the work that is in motion is all setting the stage to give us the best chance of success. Yet, I can't "know" that without being given the information. The assurance of knowing often helps me rest in the process. But, as a child of the King, I should trust that I have not been forgotten and in freedom, I should live in trust that it will all unfold according to His plan.

We know this, but I must say that I am learning it deeper through this waiting and sometimes silent experience.

It has been one year

One year ago this month, I started this adoption adventure.  Initally, I thought I would have an opportunity to complete the adoption, by the end of 2009.  Delays ensued.  As mid-February rolled along, the picture became clear that the delay would continue for a few months to indefinitely.  As time has gone on it has at times seemed like a phantom dream, because it seems like we are always in this state of limbo.  In June, I gave myself a deadline of the end of August - that if it didn't look like a court date was in the near future - that I would likely have to realize that this specific adoption wasn't meant to be.  Here we are on August 20th, and I have a glimmer of hope, but nothing solid to hold on to.  There are 11 more days in this month, and I pray that by the time that September 1 rolls around, that what I should do would be clear.

clothes, (check)

toys (check)

school supplies (check)

Just waiting for my son.

More photos while we wait.....

Not my will, but Thy will be done

Throughout these last two years I have found myself either feeling like this aoption HAS to happen or I have found myself apathetically wanting to give up.   However over the last few weeks while facing uncertainties in many regards on both the Ugandan side of things and on the US side of things, I found myself in a place where I didn't even know how to pray because the situation has gotten quite complex.  This place of not knowing how to pray actually led me to a place of honestly holding the adoption of my Ugandan son in an open palm.  If God opens the door, I will receive, love, nurture and parent him as my son.  If God closes the door entirely, I am okay with that, too.  I have come to a place in my heart where I don't have an agenda either way.  I will thankfully accept it however it turns out. 

I love this kid, and have to get him home soon

As I've been waiting and believing, I have come to a point where I am pleading to God that I can get a court appointment in July and come home with my son in the beginning of August.  This timing would be perfect, because we would be home 2-3 weeks before school starts.  This would give us time to get settled, and then to have him start school life which will provide good structure to his days and his entry into American life.

As I wait

It seems that throughout the last few weeks, the messages that I have been receiving through prayer, music, sermons and Bible study are:

1.  Through humility and hope remember who God is
2.  Wait on Him
3.  Believe and trust

New Pictures

Keeping it in perspective

Through the uncertainty of this journey, my heart is often encouraged by the words of this song we sing in church:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QemZQKKJbRU
This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved to more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

I will bring praise, I will bring praise,
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I will stand

I will bring praise, I will bring praise,
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

All of my life, in every season
You are still God, I have a reason to sing
I have reason to worship

And this is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be emptied again
The seed I’ve received I will sow

Happy Birthday to my son

Wow. I never expected that my son would be celebrating his 7th birthday in Uganda rather than at home with me.  But, regardless of where he is living, I pray that this day will be full of wonderful memories for him and that he will be home with me by his next birthday.

Happy birthday, Bushie!!!!

Impressions from a friend

tammy,

i only have a few minutes, but i wanted to let you know we measured the foot of your sweet boy today. :) he is wonderful! cuter even than the pictures. elizabeth took some great videos of him that i will bring back to the office for you. he is a little firecracker. SO cute!

wishing (SO MUCH) that you were here,

abbie and elizabeth

Inspiration to find a way

This song about sums it up.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4eZybIXpm8


AMOS STORY

Aaron Ivey. ©2009 IVEYMUSIC. (ASCAP)

Another photograph to wrestle in my head
Another sleepless night on concrete featherbed
These thoughts of you like bullets to my soul
We’ve got to find a way to get you home

I’ll find a way to get you here
If it takes my fleeting breath
Another sunrise hits the ground
And it’s a dark lonely sight

Lightyears away I hope you know
There is somebody searching
For the way to get you here
I will get you here

Throw the clocks away and run out to the street
We’ll fly to distant clouds where it’s just you and me
A day will come when all of this is gone
I’ll find a way to get you here

If it takes my fleeting breath
Another sunrise hits the ground
And it’s a dark lonely sight
Lightyears away I hope you know

There is somebody searching
For the way to get you here
I will get you here
Close your eyes and dream of a better day with me

As angels hold you tight, may you sleep in peace tonight
So dream, dream, dream my child
Hear the whisperings of hope

Hope vs. Hope Deferred

Proverbs tells us: Hope deferred makes the heart sick.  My son is standing firm in hope, while I can't seem to get around the natural consequences of deferred hope.  But, as I choose to continue to fight within myself to choose faith, hope and trust, I realize that the greater than any of these, is love.  Love that comes from a God that I can fully trust.  Love that caused me to even pursue this improbable adoption and love that is the center of hope for my son.  He often comes to our director asking "do you have any news for me".  Even though there is little news and the news that we do have for him, is that there is a delay...., his hope is strong.  You can see it in his eyes in this picture that was recently taken at his school.  In the times that I start to feel like it is hopeless, I need to remind myself of the strong hope that exists within my son and in so many kids around the world who survive and succeed in life because of the deep hope that they have in God's perfect plan for them.

A reminder of who I am fighting for

Inspiration

I just read this quote on a friend's blog.  It is so appropriate and an inspiration to keep on fighting for my son.

"No desire will ever be placed in you by the Holy Spirit unless He intends to fulfill it. So let your faith rise up and soar away to claim all the land you can discover." -S.A. Keen

the last three months

Three months ago I was expectantly waiting for the news that it was time to board the plane and travel to Uganda to pick up my son.  As the days turned to weeks, it started to feel like the dream was fading.  Then I later found out that the issue was that the Ugandan government is in the process of deciding if they are indeed going to allow foreign families to fully adopt their children.  Since learning this information I have been trying to make sense out of it all.  There are times that it seems hopeless and other times I am confident that Bush will come home with me and become my legal son. 

Please pray that the issues with the court will be resolved soon and that this boy can finally come home.

A new picture - as we continue to wait....

Oh my gosh.., he is SO cute....

I just looked at this picture and was reminded of just how adorable this little guy is.  I can't wait for each of you to meet him!